Lately, I’ve been thinking about the concept of family a lot—and how everything that we do is ultimately influenced by what happens to us when we’re young. In that respect, I think that Freud was most definitely correct. While it is true that we continue to develop throughout our lives, I feel like the core of our lives are determined very early on: the way we think, our knee-jerk reactions, the way we feel about most things and about ourselves. I have a lot of friends who go lots of different ways with regard to self-esteem: some who are very confident despite not necessarily possessing “conventional” beauty attributes, some who are extremely beautiful in the most “objective” sense but have absolutely no confidence in their ability to be attractive and some who are in-between and in most instances I find that these things have a lot to do with the way that they were brought up or their experiences as young children.
I’ve been talking about this project with a lot of people: primarily, my sister (Ate Ria) and one of my best friends (Joy). I was very inspired by ShamelessMaya’s YouTube channel because she really talks about not being ashamed to be yourself and not being ashamed to talk to other people about what you do or about the things you do. But more than that what I love about her channel is that she is able to promote being shameless without being obnoxious or invasive. That’s exactly what I want to achieve. 🙂 Below are two aspects of the project that I’ve been mulling over, lately.
1.) The Woman Aspect. This is what I’ve been discussing with my sister (who is 14 years older than me–so she knows all about being yourself). We’ve been talking about how being a woman very heavily involves being comfortable in your own skin. That said, a lot of that being comfy isn’t something that just happens–it’s something that you take charge of. And that means buying clothes that fit you right, knowing what risks you’re okay with taking re: self-image, aka being able to portray yourself the way you’d like to be perceived. This is the internal part of the project–the working on yourself bit. We’re going to be putting up a Pinterest board soon which will have different looks for different occasions for different types of women.
Also, for my graduation gift my sister agreed to help me out with buying things that I think every woman should have. I’ll post more about that here once things get a’moving (I made a list of things). The photo above is from one of me and my sister’s dressing room escapades–that’s one thing, I suppose about this whole thing: I feel like a lot of us are afraid of dressing rooms because if something doesn’t fit, we feel like failures. But that’s the thing–trying something out and finding it isn’t for you doesn’t make you a failure. 🙂 It just makes you someone who wants something different.
Of course I only decided to call this section the Woman Aspect because I am a woman. But of course, men can do this as well if they’d like. In fact, I would be very interested in seeing what men would do re: being comfy in their own skin, etc.
2.) The Sharing It Aspect. This is the section I’ve most been discussing with my friend Joy. Most of my closest friends consist of bunsos (sans my friend Kiki, who is an only child and my friend, Trish who is the second-to-the-youngest). Joy is one of those friends and lately we realized that one of our common traits is that we’re always afraid to speak our minds or to tell the truth or to be assertive. It’s like telling people what we want equates to not getting it. Moreover, we’re super pissed off at people who “put it out there” and just end up bragging or being obnoxious. We’d like things to be less about bragging or showing off about how great your life is and/or shoving truths about ‘life’ down people’s throats and more about sharing your struggles with other people and learning how to overcome this thing called insecurity together. 🙂 So, yeah. We’re going to be putting up a Tumblr for that soon and I’ll write about that here too when it happens.